Great Expectations

This was the first time I had read Great Expectations. I had a good friend who read it in high school and she raved about it. I was excited to find out what the big deal was. While reading I was disappointed. I could not figure out what was so "great" about this book. After having some time to reflect, I now love this book. It is a great story and has so many great and memorable characters. Among my favorites are the entire household of Wemmick. He works for Mr. Jaggers, lawyer. He has a marvelous house that they call "The Castle", it has a draw bridge and a moat. His father is old and deaf, he calls him The Aged. Wemmick loves his father very much and does whatever he can to make him happy, including firing a cannon every night just so he can hear something. There is also Miss Skiffins, she is engaged to Wemmick and they eventually marry. I love the description of their relationship, they are so sweet to each other and love each other very much and are waiting patiently for the time to marry. Until then, when they are together Wemmick attempts to put his arm around her and she gently uses her gloved hand to remove his arm and doesn't miss a beat whether listening or talking herself. Wemmick does not give up and keeps trying. When they are finally married and are at the wedding breakfast. He again puts his arm around her, but this time she does not do anything about it. This is exactly how virtue is to be kept. She smiles every time he puts his arm around her, she definitely would like to have him hold her, but she knows that it is not right Then after they are married and have made covenants and commitments she is able to enjoy his embrace all the more for never having experienced it outside of the bonds of marriage. Old Joe, Pip's brother-in-law and guardian is another of my favorite. He is probably the most pure in the book and the most deserving of happiness and I was glad that he found that with Biddy. Others on the list would be Miss Havisham, Estella, and Magwitch.

This is a story about a man’s life written as the end with perspective and understanding. Only after reflecting back does he tell the story. The details have not changed much, I think, but the insight into what was going on has. I enjoyed reading about the things that happened to him with the wisdom only time and experience can give. That is the first lesson I learned from this book; life gives perspective.

Keeping a journal is good, but writing a life story about the things written of in the journals is where wisdom comes from. I have fought against keeping a journal for a while now because I kept one all through high school and college and I am ashamed of some the things that I wrote in them. I love most of the experiences I had and would not change very much, they have made me who I am, but sometimes my reaction was so silly and just plain rebellious and wrong. I have not kept a regular journal since going back and reading them. What the story of Pip has taught me is that writing from perspective is more effective than writing during the heat or passion of the moment. I can keep a journal, but process experiences through prayer and meditation before I write about them. This does not mean that I will give a watered down or deceptive version, that is not how Pip wrote his story. As a narrator we get an insight into how he feels about his actions at the time they happened and when he is older. I can write the story and what I did at the time, but also offer what I have learned.

Another lesson that I took from this book is that just is not always right or fair. Magwitch is forced into a life of crime much like Jean Valjean in Les Miserables. Bother were born very poor with huge responsibilities placed on while young; Valjean the care of his sister and her children after the death of her husband and Magwitch the care of himself after the death of his parents. Both stole for survival and while in jail both became hardened, but both are turned around through contact with the innocent; Valjean with Petit-Gervais, Fantine, and Cosette, and Magwitch with Pip as a child. In reading both of these books I have become more aware of and concerned about the plight of those born into or forced into very unfavorable circumstances. I still very much believe in personal accountability, but also believe in mercy and redemption. The only justice that would be completely right or fair is that of God. We as men do not have the wisdom needed to make justice fair, therefore justice will always be flawed in this world.

The last lesson I wish to write about is that of overcoming our past. Pip spends his early life trying to overcome what he feels has been an inferior life with his sister and Joe. Once her realizes he is wrong in this endeavor he tries to overcome and repair mistakes he made while waiting for his benefactor to reveal himself. This is also true for many of the other characters in the book: Miss Havisham, Estella, Magwitch, and even in a way Herbert, each of these trying in a different way to overcome. This maturing and learning culminates in a way that when Pip and Estella meet up later in life they are ready for each other.

This is how I feel God works with us. He gives us experiences, we grow and learn, then we endure and later reflect back on them so that when he needs us or wants to bless us with something we will be ready, if only we will do our part. I also feel that Pip’s experience with Estella is an experience many of us have with blessings in this life. We want something, we desire it with all our heart, we work for it, and when we think it should be ours we try to take it, but the Lord’s ways are not our ways, his timing is usually not our timing. Pip may have always been intended for Estella, but until she had endured her trials and matured in the way she did having her would have just made him miserable, just like having something we want before we should would make us unhappy. The Lord’s desire is for us to have all he has and to be happy like he is and only he knows exactly how to make that happen for us. Our job is not to find what we want and expect it to happen we are to find out what he wants for us and then do all we can to make it happen in accordance with the Lord’s timeline.

Surrendering to Motherhood

This book was recommended to me by a friend and I appreciate her for that. This is the story of a woman who is a very successful journalist and the mother of four boys. Her career and independence is very important to her and stays her focus even after all of her children are born. I definitely have some work to do to surrender like she does and that is why I appreciate this book. I also gained a better outlook on my life as a Mother. It was very interesting to read her journey to a life just like her mother's. When this realization hits her she writes, "There are no shackels in this house, this is no jail. These kids are your ticket to freedom like nothing you have ever tasted, the kind that is not hinged on TV appearances or writing for Life magazine or being a size 6 again. It's the liberation that comes from the sheer act of living itself. When you stop to be where you are, then your life can really begin."

My favorite part is this "I've had some great baby-sitters over the years, but of this I am certain: You and I can have the best caregiver on earth, but there is no one who can physically touch our children like we are able to. That sacred chemistry consoles us, too, it is the optimal soul soother, and it's ours anytime we want. So you might as yourself the next time you're rushing out of the house: Where are you going? Or are you there already?" From this I have started paying attention to how I feel when I touch one of my girls. Now I can't stop touching them. Everytime I am near them I reach for them.

She talks about "being where you are when you are there". This my new motto.

Cry, the Beloved Country continued

I finished this book and was so uplifted by it. There is a part where two black men are speaking about the problems of South Africa. A young reverend tells the older reverend his feelings about power. "...there is only one thing that has power completely, and that is love. Because when a man loves, he seeks no power, and therefore he has power." When I read this I thought of my children. They are not looking for power they are truly just loving and that keeps under their complete control. They have more power over me than almost anything in this world.

He continues, "I see only one hope for our country, and that is when white men and black men, desiring neither power nor money, but desiring only the good of their country, come together to work for it.... I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they are turned to loving, they will find we are turned to hating." The spirit wispered to me that I have been prideful and desiring power in my marriage and that it was going to start causing problems. At first I thought this was crazy, our marriage was really good and we were happy. Over the next few days I started to notice that we were having small blow ups and 90% of the problem was me. I remeber clearly standing in the kitchen with a spoon stiring our dinner when this came to me. My anger at the thing we were arguing about disappeared when I thought that I need to stop this and start loving before I find that Matthew has turned to hating.

I highly reccomned this book!!!!

Cry, the Beloved Country

"Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that is the inheritor of our fear. Let him not love the earth too deeply. Let him not laugh too gladly when the water runs through his fingers, nor stand too silent when the setting sun makes red the veld with fire. Let him not be too moved when the birds of his land are singing, nor give too much of his heart to a mountain or a valley. For fear will rob him of all if he gives too much"

This is the passage where the book gets it's name from. This is how I lived my life for too long!! I let fear rob me of so many things because it has stopped me from calling someone or going to visit someone I feel I should. I have missed opportunities to grow by not taking a challenge. I have usually taken the easy road, this is the reason I have not lost the weight I gained from having Lola and Abby. I read this last night and I couldn't sleep because I was going over in my mind all of the times when I didn't love enough, wasn't happy enough, wasn't moved enough, or didn't give enough of my heart. Then I realized that this was the same thing. I wasn't feeling better I was actually making myself feel worse (that Satan is a tricky little devil). I stopped, got on my knees and thanked God for the opportunities he has given me and repented of the times I didn't take them and promised to always take them when they come up again. I feel so much better already!!!!

Les Miserables

My book club is reading Les Mis over the summer. I decided to start it now in order to have time to read the unabridged version (we'll see how this goes). I found a video on Youtube about Les Mis that I thought people would enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0Dn0_gsbA8

by the way, what can't you find on youtube?

A Tale of Two Cities

I finished this book in time for my book club that meets on the last tuesday of each month. I had 200 pages left 4 days before the meeting. I took off my whiny pants and just read it. I am so glad that I did. This was my fourth time reading this and every time I read it I end up in tears. This is a story set during the French Revolution. I had heard it described as bloody, but until I read Dickens' descriptions of some of the events that happened I had no idea what that meant. The streets literally flowed with the blood of those taken by Madame Guillotine. He used foreshadowing very effectively. In the begining of the book a barrel of wine breaks and spills all over the street. The people stop what they are doing and rush out to drink what they can. They sip pools of it. Mop it up with their clothes and ring it into thier and their babies' mouths. Also the man who was delivering the wine didn't care, it wasn't his problem, those who own the wine needed to worry about it not him. When it was over they and their clothes were stained red. During the bloodiest parts of the revolution the people were literally stained with blood, they couldn't wash it off their hands, thier clothes or anything else they had. The women would sit at the foot of the Guillotine, as the people were beheaded blood would spatter them, they would even take souveniors of their "favorite" aristocrat i.e. locks of thier hair or pieces of their clothing. Those not in France didn't feel like it was any of their business and stayed out of it. One of the biggest ironies of this is that part of the blame for the revolution was King Louis' financial help of the American Colonists during their revolution which led to high taxes, but the Fench peasants took their courage and ideas from those American Colonists.



This is a sad display of what we humans are capable of if pushed too far.
Here is a picture of a recreated guillotine. Most people would lie down with thier head through the hole and a basket below them. The revolutionaries invented this machine to make the beheadings more efficient and faster. If I had a choice of the guillotine and someone chopping my head off I would choose the guillotine. Until I read this book and the accounts of the beheadings before and after this was invented I would have never looked at the guillotine as the merciful method of execution and can now even see it as a blessing.

New Blog

I am going to start writing here about all that I read. I read all the time. Usually about three or four books at a time. I need somewhere to write about it. Writing always helps me understand what I read. I also attend at least three discussion meetings each month where we discuss something we have read together. I also need a place to archive what I learn there. Thank you Bugs and Stacee for making me excited about blogging again.